Over the past couple of years, Alan & I have reached varying levels of frustration with toys left out all over the house, things being lost or broken, toilets not being flushed (!) and just a general sense of chaos. We have implemented a variety of strategies to help correct this behavior, and have had periods of success. However, with Seth now being 7 1/2 years old, it is truly time to instil these behaviors as a regular part of his daily life. So, while Seth was at school yesterday, we developed a strategy for 2012.
The first thing was to formalize our family rules. While we have general guidelines for our home, we had never taken the time to discuss specifics as a family, and write them down. In an effort to keep things simple, we came up with 7 rules that cover a range of behaviors. The rules were transferred to poster board and are hanging on the wall. Once we have lived with the rules for awhile, and are certain that we don't need to adjust them, we will create a pretty, printed version that will become a part of our home.
I also sat down and created three lists of tasks for Seth - one for the morning, after school, and the evening. Over dinner, we reviewed the lists, and added a couple of extra things that Seth thought needed to be included. The lists were then transferred to poster board, and hung on his bedroom wall. The hope is that Seth will be able to look at these lists every day to help him remember what responsibilities he has in our house.
| Morning: | After School: | Evening: |
| 1. Get dressed (with socks) 2. Make bed 3. Throw away any trash 4. Eat breakfast 5. Put away dishes 6. Wipe up crumbs/mess 7. Brush teeth & brush hair 8. Shoes on | 1. Change clothes 2. Kung fu uniform in backpack 3. Lunchbox on counter 4. Hang up jacket & backpack 5. Shoes on closet door 6. Homework | 1. Take bath 2. Clothes in hamper 3. Towel on hook 4. Shower curtain closed 5. Toilet flushed 6. Brush teeth 7. Put away toothbrush, etc. 8. Sink rinsed out 9. Check on tadpoles 10. Pray |
As we explained to Seth, these are the tasks that are expected of him. He does not earn anything for making his bed, for example, it is simply expected of him as a contributing member of our family. Likewise, Daddy doesn't earn anything for taking out the trash, that is simply a task that must be done regularly, and he is the person who handles the job. However, if one of us neglects our tasks, there are consequences.
We also created a list of additional tasks that need to be done on a regular basis. While Seth isn't expected to complete these, if he volunteers to do one, he earns 10 minutes of electronics time on the weekend. These jobs run the gamut, and include simple things like "get the mail" and "feed Clover", to more in-depth tasks like "clean the living room windows" and "give Marco a bath." Although we are less than 24 hours into this experiment, he woke-up motivated this morning. He completed all of the tasks on his morning list (with just a little encouragement to make his bed neater), and offered to feed the cat (an optional task). I'm hoping that the incentive of earning time with his DS or the I-Pod will entice him to complete his daily tasks, and help out more around the house.
We will see if this practice helps bring more structure into our daily lives. However, even if that structure is temporary, the practice itself was valuable. The discussions we had as a family were really good. We talked about examples of good & bad behaviors that would apply to each rule, we discussed what we expected from each other, and we came to an agreement on 7 guiding principles for our house. All in all, it was a great exercise, and I am really content with our final rules.
As your mom I am very impressed with your rules and list of responsibilities. Just remember not to give up on Seth. We didn't give up on you and look how wonderful you have turned out.
ReplyDelete